Dear Koen,
I love you! You are such a gorgeous, precious little man. I can tell already you have a firery temperament, but I can also see you are going to be cuddly, you love me to hold you and I love when you stretch out on my chest with your head to the side, just chilling I could sit there with you like that forever. Pity your siblings don't like it especially Mahli.
You sure can let out a squeal/scream. Your brothers and sister couldn't cry/squeal like you can. I suppose being the fourth you need to be loud so we can hear you over your noisy siblings. You don't cry to much though really. There has only been a couple times you have had me stressed bc you wouldn't stop crying. You mainly cry when you have a pain, which makes me sad, bc I just want to fix it for you which I try my best to do.
You HATE to be put down. You won't be down for anymore then a few minutes till you let me know you don't like this, pick me up right now. Its just like you are showing me you love me just as much as I love you. At times you could be crying with your father, he passes you to me and you settle down right away. Melts my heart and I love that you love me as much as I love you and that I can tell that already at 6 weeks old. Although this makes it so hard to get photos of you. I don't want photos of you crying I want nice photos. I just can't get them when you want to be held by me.
You are Mr serious too. I am currently trying SOOOOO hard to get you to smile. I know you are only young but you have given me one smile and it was beautiful and you gave Manley pop one too. BUT you frown and look at me like I am an idiot most of the time. It will come soon. I can't wait.
I had to take you back to the hospital when you were 4.5 weeks old. You were still a little yellow and I wanted to make sure it was all ok. Even though I pretty much knew you were as you were so happy, healthy etc I thought it was better to be safe then sorry. They took your blood and OMG you screamed so much I have never heard you scream so much. It was breaking my heart. You were so red and sweating. There was blood everywhere all up your foot and leg :(. Then they told me I had to go back 3 days later to have another one I so wasn't looking forward to it. This time you hardly cried at all. It was all ok, made me feel better just knowing for sure.
You are such a good feeder, have been since the first time I held you properly. I can tell how much weight you have gained and how much you have grown already. It seems like you have grown so much. It actually makes me a little sad that you are growing so fast. You need to slow down precious little man.
You are another tummy sleeper. Gives me heart attacks. I am to scared to let you sleep of a night by yourself on your tummy. You will sleep for a little while in your basinett on your side but most of the time that is until I get into bed to sleep or an hour later. So most if not all of the night you sleep in my hands of a night, every night. It kills my back but its worth it. I do love the cuddles but laying in the same position for so long isn't the most comfortable. You are a good sleeper though, best I have had you sleep much longer then your brothers and sister at your age, which I am thankful for. Because it is hard work raising 4 kids.
Koen I love you so much. I am so happy you chose me to be your mummy. I will make mistakes, make you unhappy, yell and get frustrated at you. BUT ALWAYS, ALWAYS remember that I love you more than any words can express. I would do anything for you, you and your brothers and sister are my whole world and without you and them my life wouldn't be worth it. I love you precious little man.
Love Mum xoxo
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
The birth of Koen Lachlan 9/10/13
This pregnancy had been pretty easy compared to my other 3. I got through without getting gestational diabetes again which I was soooo thankful for. Not because I found it hard with Amahlia because I didn't, but, because I didn't want to go to Maitland Hospital again because it makes it so hard on everyone. The only problem we had was they changed my date for my c-section from 2nd October to the 9th October as the surgeon was going to be away on the 2nd so I was afraid of going into labour since I had an irritable uterus and that would mean I had to go to a different hospital which I didn't want to do, as the other hospital has a bad reputation.
8th October finally came and we spent the day at Scone visiting the hospital to get blood taken for c-section then anthesis appointment for my spinal the next day which I did inform him he had had trouble with my first two spinals. That night I had tea with the kids, bathed them, then took them up to mum and dad where they were staying the night as I had to be at the hospital early the next day. The kids were excited to be having a sleep over. I was shocked how calm I was and that I didn't break down crying when leaving them like I did when I went to have Amahlia. After getting home I had planned to finish changing everyone sheets and fold the last basket of clothing but James talked me into going to bed with him and watching a movie and relaxing which I gave in and did. Turns out it was a bad idea as I woke early in the night to go to the toilet like usual and then couldn't go back to sleep as I kept thinking about the one left unmade bed and the washing that wasn't folded. At 3am I ended up getting up and changed the sheets on Zack's bed (I did the rest the night before) and sat and watch tv (teen mom) while folding and putting away the last load of washing.
At 5am we left for the hospital, arrived at the hospital at 6am took my stuff in got shown to my room. I was the only one at the hospital in the maternity ward so it was very quiet. I got dressed into my gown, put my sexy stockings on, went on the monitor to check baby etc. and waited until they came got me.
At about 7.45am they came to get me to take me to theater. It was all very relaxed and I was feeling good about the spinal as they got it in right away with Amahlia. I was trying to think positive about it happening again. (The spinal has always been the thing I was scared most about my c-section). Thinking positive didn't work. I find "scrunching up like a cat" as the say the most uncomfortable thing ever when you are pregnant. Yes it is ok for a few minutes but longer it makes it bloody hard to breath. After 1.5-2 hours it is HORRIBLE. The 100 of times he put the needles in my back were not as bad as the "scrunching up like a cat".
He did think he got it in at one stage. They laid me down and the surgeon was scrubbing in. I knew right away it wasn't, apparently the spinal fluid came out like it was meant to but must have slipped out when he put the stuff in so it was floating around in my body somewhere. After many times checking if it worked, I kept saying no I can still feel everything. NO way where they cutting me when I could feel it. I had to wait 15 minutes before he would try again as he didn't know if the stuff would effect me in some way. It didn't though so he started trying again.
He did want to stop trying earlier but I was soooo desperate to have him I asked him to have a few more times. He did say to me what about my ego??( the poor guy felt so bad) when I asked him to try again. The other 2 anthesis where away so there was no one to call in like they did when he couldn't get it in with Ashton. He finally gave up though and talks started about me having to go to Maitland hospital to get it done. All I was worried about was having him that day. I didn't want to wait any longer. Mum and dad had a motel booked at Scone with the kids and that was going to be a pain. I stayed very calm though. I walked back to my room :( and waited to see if we would be going to Maitland that day to have it done. My back was now killing me too. Here is a pic of my back the next morning. I had bruises up my sides from them sticking there fingers into my fat to feel for my hips
It felt like ages waiting to know what was happening but finally Maitland got back to them and I was going to Maitland to get done that day. I was so relieved I was told to go right to labour ward when I get there. So off James and I go for another 1.5 hour drive to get there. It really hurt my back the drive down there and I was sooo tired. Gee I wished I didn't get up at 3am. I was so hungry and thirsty as I had been fasting since 8pm for food and midnight for water.
We got there and they put me into a labour room as they had no beds for me. The monitored me, but another canula in me which hurt like hell. Then informed me I wasn't on the list as they couldn't put me on the list until I got there. They then went on to tell me that they don't know if it would be that day or the next but I had to keep fasting in case. So there was ALOT of waiting, I was told that they closed theater at 10pm so could be waiting till then. I so wanted a drink.
At 6pm they finally came and said they were taking me up and I was taken. I drank the horrible tasting crap for the 2nd time and was positive the spinal was going to go in easy like it did when I had Mahli at the same hospital since they do them every day unlike Scone hospital. I wish! He had problems too. They were shocked with the state of my back already but at least this time I had James in with me while they were trying to put it in. He was the one standing in front of me which I liked. The anthesis told me I was a problem and he was going to give it one more try and if it didn't work I was going to have to go under general. I tried not to panic as that was the last thing I wanted. Thank god he got it in (He later told me he actually gave it two more tries) Talk about relief I was going to meet my little man finally and I was going to be awake to see it happen.
Finally at 6.52pm James was told to stand up and watch him be born, it was announced he was born at the time then I was told he had peed all over me already. He was shown to me then taken over to be checked over. Felt like ages that he was away getting checked over and James cutting his cord etc. The anthesis said to me what is taking them so long and called out hurry up mum wants a cuddle. He was brought to me and I got cuddles while they were sewing me up. He was sucking his fingers the whole time. James said to me he is going to give us trouble he has been born a few minutes and he has already peed on you and he just stuck his finger up at me LOL. James and the midwife then took him to be weighed etc. while they finished off my last layer of stitchers and took me to recovery.
At recovery they finally got me some ice to suck and it was great. James and bub came to me and he latched on right away and had a great feed. I was finally let out of recovery and we were wheeled back to my room, where James met me (he had gone to ring people while we were in recovery). We started discussing names but couldn't agree on anything. I was exhausted so decided we would wait. James had to go find somewhere to stay the night as it was 9pm. Poor thing had no clothes or anything, he hadn't ate all day as he was scared if he left to get something they would come get me to have him.
That night he screamed lots. The midwife couldn't settle him, the only way he would settle was on my chest so she put him there and we dosed that way, as I was right near the nurses station so it was noisy. As soon as they let me I got the catheter removed so I could get up and shower as I was desperate to get back to Scone where I would have my own room and finally get some sleep. They let me the next morning even though the midwife on night duty told me not till the afternoon I was up at 10am. At 12.30 I was aloud to go back to Scone so we packed up and James drove us back to Scone. On the way we discussed names again, my hormonal self cried as I wanted him named and James was fine with him not having a name for as long as it took. James wanted one name I wanted another. We both liked Koen so I suggested we compromised and went with Koen Lachlan. He still wouldn't commit. So I messaged my family and announced baby boy never to be named was born etc etc etc...... When James was leaving to go home from Scone he came in from getting my pillows out of the car and said lets call him Koen. So I announced it to everyone else. I am really happy with his name.
So details and pics
Koen Lachlan
born 9th October 2013
at 6.52pm
3800grams or 8pounds 6oz
35.5 HC and 48cm long
8th October finally came and we spent the day at Scone visiting the hospital to get blood taken for c-section then anthesis appointment for my spinal the next day which I did inform him he had had trouble with my first two spinals. That night I had tea with the kids, bathed them, then took them up to mum and dad where they were staying the night as I had to be at the hospital early the next day. The kids were excited to be having a sleep over. I was shocked how calm I was and that I didn't break down crying when leaving them like I did when I went to have Amahlia. After getting home I had planned to finish changing everyone sheets and fold the last basket of clothing but James talked me into going to bed with him and watching a movie and relaxing which I gave in and did. Turns out it was a bad idea as I woke early in the night to go to the toilet like usual and then couldn't go back to sleep as I kept thinking about the one left unmade bed and the washing that wasn't folded. At 3am I ended up getting up and changed the sheets on Zack's bed (I did the rest the night before) and sat and watch tv (teen mom) while folding and putting away the last load of washing.
At 5am we left for the hospital, arrived at the hospital at 6am took my stuff in got shown to my room. I was the only one at the hospital in the maternity ward so it was very quiet. I got dressed into my gown, put my sexy stockings on, went on the monitor to check baby etc. and waited until they came got me.
At about 7.45am they came to get me to take me to theater. It was all very relaxed and I was feeling good about the spinal as they got it in right away with Amahlia. I was trying to think positive about it happening again. (The spinal has always been the thing I was scared most about my c-section). Thinking positive didn't work. I find "scrunching up like a cat" as the say the most uncomfortable thing ever when you are pregnant. Yes it is ok for a few minutes but longer it makes it bloody hard to breath. After 1.5-2 hours it is HORRIBLE. The 100 of times he put the needles in my back were not as bad as the "scrunching up like a cat".
He did think he got it in at one stage. They laid me down and the surgeon was scrubbing in. I knew right away it wasn't, apparently the spinal fluid came out like it was meant to but must have slipped out when he put the stuff in so it was floating around in my body somewhere. After many times checking if it worked, I kept saying no I can still feel everything. NO way where they cutting me when I could feel it. I had to wait 15 minutes before he would try again as he didn't know if the stuff would effect me in some way. It didn't though so he started trying again.
He did want to stop trying earlier but I was soooo desperate to have him I asked him to have a few more times. He did say to me what about my ego??( the poor guy felt so bad) when I asked him to try again. The other 2 anthesis where away so there was no one to call in like they did when he couldn't get it in with Ashton. He finally gave up though and talks started about me having to go to Maitland hospital to get it done. All I was worried about was having him that day. I didn't want to wait any longer. Mum and dad had a motel booked at Scone with the kids and that was going to be a pain. I stayed very calm though. I walked back to my room :( and waited to see if we would be going to Maitland that day to have it done. My back was now killing me too. Here is a pic of my back the next morning. I had bruises up my sides from them sticking there fingers into my fat to feel for my hips
It felt like ages waiting to know what was happening but finally Maitland got back to them and I was going to Maitland to get done that day. I was so relieved I was told to go right to labour ward when I get there. So off James and I go for another 1.5 hour drive to get there. It really hurt my back the drive down there and I was sooo tired. Gee I wished I didn't get up at 3am. I was so hungry and thirsty as I had been fasting since 8pm for food and midnight for water.
We got there and they put me into a labour room as they had no beds for me. The monitored me, but another canula in me which hurt like hell. Then informed me I wasn't on the list as they couldn't put me on the list until I got there. They then went on to tell me that they don't know if it would be that day or the next but I had to keep fasting in case. So there was ALOT of waiting, I was told that they closed theater at 10pm so could be waiting till then. I so wanted a drink.
At 6pm they finally came and said they were taking me up and I was taken. I drank the horrible tasting crap for the 2nd time and was positive the spinal was going to go in easy like it did when I had Mahli at the same hospital since they do them every day unlike Scone hospital. I wish! He had problems too. They were shocked with the state of my back already but at least this time I had James in with me while they were trying to put it in. He was the one standing in front of me which I liked. The anthesis told me I was a problem and he was going to give it one more try and if it didn't work I was going to have to go under general. I tried not to panic as that was the last thing I wanted. Thank god he got it in (He later told me he actually gave it two more tries) Talk about relief I was going to meet my little man finally and I was going to be awake to see it happen.
Finally at 6.52pm James was told to stand up and watch him be born, it was announced he was born at the time then I was told he had peed all over me already. He was shown to me then taken over to be checked over. Felt like ages that he was away getting checked over and James cutting his cord etc. The anthesis said to me what is taking them so long and called out hurry up mum wants a cuddle. He was brought to me and I got cuddles while they were sewing me up. He was sucking his fingers the whole time. James said to me he is going to give us trouble he has been born a few minutes and he has already peed on you and he just stuck his finger up at me LOL. James and the midwife then took him to be weighed etc. while they finished off my last layer of stitchers and took me to recovery.
At recovery they finally got me some ice to suck and it was great. James and bub came to me and he latched on right away and had a great feed. I was finally let out of recovery and we were wheeled back to my room, where James met me (he had gone to ring people while we were in recovery). We started discussing names but couldn't agree on anything. I was exhausted so decided we would wait. James had to go find somewhere to stay the night as it was 9pm. Poor thing had no clothes or anything, he hadn't ate all day as he was scared if he left to get something they would come get me to have him.
That night he screamed lots. The midwife couldn't settle him, the only way he would settle was on my chest so she put him there and we dosed that way, as I was right near the nurses station so it was noisy. As soon as they let me I got the catheter removed so I could get up and shower as I was desperate to get back to Scone where I would have my own room and finally get some sleep. They let me the next morning even though the midwife on night duty told me not till the afternoon I was up at 10am. At 12.30 I was aloud to go back to Scone so we packed up and James drove us back to Scone. On the way we discussed names again, my hormonal self cried as I wanted him named and James was fine with him not having a name for as long as it took. James wanted one name I wanted another. We both liked Koen so I suggested we compromised and went with Koen Lachlan. He still wouldn't commit. So I messaged my family and announced baby boy never to be named was born etc etc etc...... When James was leaving to go home from Scone he came in from getting my pillows out of the car and said lets call him Koen. So I announced it to everyone else. I am really happy with his name.
So details and pics
Koen Lachlan
born 9th October 2013
at 6.52pm
3800grams or 8pounds 6oz
35.5 HC and 48cm long
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